Down with Valentines day!

Valentines day is one of the worst holidays of the year. The greeting card industry and florist make a killing while making people feel like crap. Ever since I was a kid I absolutely HATED this stupid holiday.

When you're a kid it's not too bad, you end up passing out little candies to everyone and silly cards. But when you're the "poor" kid of the class and can only pass out either the cards or the candies, sometimes not being able to do either was just down right bad. Made you want to stay home to avoid the why aren’t you participating types of questions. (And it's not that your parents aren't hard workers, it's just that there are more important things in life such as food, water, the clothes on your back, the roof over your head and the basic necessities of everyday life that they put before the extra things. Which is what RESPONSIBLE parents do. Not that it made it any easier, but you knew it was for the best.)

As teenagers it doesn't get any better. You end up having the secret valentines, which is basically friends and "couples" buying little cards with suckers taped to the envelope on them during lunch starting towards the end of January up until the day before Valentine's day that end up being passed out during one particular period in which teacher aids, and staff members would go from room to room to pass them out. If you've ever been in a class with little miss or mister popularity they usually end up with like 100 stupid cards that are going to end up in the trash in a few days anyways. And as you listen to all of the gibberish about how in love they are with so and so it makes you want to puke. When you get to lunch with your friends, if you've had any passed out to them. But didn't receive not even one, it's a pretty awkward lunch. You just happen to be the only one they "forgot". Even though it was something everyone agreed on so that your group of so called friends wouldn't have to be left out of the stupid ass holiday in the first place. Pact my eye!

Boyfriends are no different no matter what their age is! So I'm just going to lump them in with Husbands as well. Men are all idiots! They either totally forget, even though there are tons of advertisements from the moment you get into your car until you go home to watch television. And the simple fact that it's been the same day as it's always been for YEARS! But why should that be any different than your birthday or any other holiday for that matter.

Men can typically remember those types of holidays if they're trying to get under your skirt, have only been dating them for 2 years or less, or have really fucked up and they are doing some major ass kissing. If you've been dating for more than 2 years or are married and the honeymoon is finally over with you're totally screwed and you might as well buy your own damn chocolate and call out sick. Because chances are, just like junior high and high school there is always little miss popular whether she's married or just really popular with the guys. :-P

It's like watching "The Office" when Phyllis kept getting gifts from her husband, and other women kept getting small things as well, while Pam started to get irritated that she didn't get squat. And at the end of the day when her fiancé finally showed up and she asked him why he didn't get her anything he winked and said she was getting something better than flowers, he said he was going to give her hot sex all night. (Something along those lines) She looked like she wanted to puke. I mean seriously, come on! The last thing we want to do after working all day is more work, we don't want to hurt your feelings guys but if we have to, just get it over with already and don't try to make it a marathon. It would be a lot more fun if there was actual romance to it then to have that as a constellation prize!

If it's because you can't afford to buy us a gift at least pick up a .99 cent card at the freakin dollar store. And if you do decide to get her a card, you need to read it before you buy it! Nothing more embarrassing than her opening a card for GRANDMA, or to be reading one in Spanish when you don't even speak it, duh! Or do something for us like cook dinner......that doesn't mean take out. (Ain't nothin sexier than a guy that is willing to cook, even if it doesn't turn out right and you end up ordering take out anyway.) Or rent a chick flick that she's been dying to see! Or watch one of the ones she already has, it's more than likely her favorite any way.

For the most part for women it's not about getting a gift to prove you love them. It's just about expressing how you feel about you're "loved" one. Which is how you should really treat each other the rest of the time anyway.

At the end of the day if she didn't receive anything at work, because you couldn't afford it, it would be nice to be showed how much she's loved. If you're able to hear her pulling into the garage go out there and help her in the house with her purse, lunch box thingy if she takes one, her jacket if she's not wearing it etc. If you live in an apartment and know she's not going anywhere after work head out to where she normally parks at about when she would be pulling up and do the same thing. Give her a hug and a kiss then TELL her happy Valentine's Day, you big oaf! Don't be so retarded geez! If you're just flat out lazy don't be surprised if you don't get laid that night, but hell, you're probably to lazy to really try anyway.

So to all of the Pam's out there hope you didn't have to put up with that type of crap on a work day. Hope you had a relaxing Friday and spent the night in away from that dreaded day. And if you're little miss popularity, well good for you.