I have to wonder how long is it acceptable to keep the little black book. I would think once you get married the little black book should be burned even if the women in those books are just "friends". It's quite annoying to see your spouse still calling and keeping in touch with long ago loves or "friends". It's not about jealousy it's simply about not wanting to know that you're still connected to someone that seems to be more than just friends.
Yet if the woman of the releationship were to keep their little black book and stay in touch with their past loves and "friends" it wouldn't look right. So why is there that double standard? I love my husband with all my heart but I'll never understand why he must keep in touch with women that he use to date.
Just yesterday I found a recent letter that my husband wrote yet had not been placed in the envelope to be sent out and he signed it with lots of love and miss you like crazy. In the letter he mentions how he misses seeing her and hearing her laugh and can't wait to see her again, I know if I ask what the hell, he will say it's nothing and that they're just friends and accuse me of snooping when in actuality he left the letter in plain sight and not put in an odd place for me to find it. Yet if the shoe were on the other foot he would be asking me a crap load of questions and I'd be asked not to mail it out. His sister in tow would be labeling me a cheater yet she would say I'm making too big a deal out of his letter and staying in touch.
I have to wonder if you think you would have been better off with one of your other "friends" and that's why you keep in touch with them in case our relationship doesn't work out and you need a safetynet. What happens when that safetynet finds their own life/significant other and has moved on, what then?
It's time for you to give up your little black book and grow up, stop acting like a teenager and become a man already. If you want your life at home to be magically better perhaps you should start acting more maturely. Take the responsibility you already have more seriously. Yes you can change a diaper, good for you.....now take it a step further and give your baby a bath for the first time, it's not that hard, I've shown you like 4 times already, it's not rocket science for crying out loud. Speaking of crying, when your child cries run through the check list, is the baby dirty? is the baby hungry? did the baby throw up and need to be cleaned and changed? is the baby sitting or laying on something that is uncomfortable. Does the baby need a sucky? Is the baby hot or cold and need to be dressed accordingly? Don't just look at your baby scratch your head and say I don't know what's wrong. Yes you do help out but if you'd stop having to ask me what to do next then maybe just maybe I'd be able to take care of my errands and what not early and be home at a decent time to have dinner made and put away so that your shift can end early...even though it would be nice to have a break as well, big whiney cry baby.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Just WOW!
Where to start?! Well,the day prior to my vacation I had days that I had to use up or I would loose them at the end of the year and it amounted to 2 weeks that I would be loosing so I got to take those anyway. My hubby and I didn't do much for my birthday, we stayed home had dinner and watched a movie it was actually nice.
After a few days of being on vacation I ended up having to go to the doctors because I was having some serious pains all over. There were a few things the doctor thought was going on and was going to send me off to have testing done but before she sent me on my way she wanted to test for pregnancy. While waiting in the exam room after giving them what they needed I waited and waited thinking she would walk in and tell me what I usually hear when I have stomach issuse not pregnant. Not this time, she came in and said, "you're pregnant" and had a giant smile on her face. My jaw dropped and I think I turned pretty pale, I kept asking if they were sure and she said they tested it a few times and that they are 100% certain.
Being that we couldn't figure out how far along I was she ordered an emergency ultra sound to be done asap. My dad was in the car waiting for me as he was the one that drove me, my husband didn't want me driving myself as we weren't sure why I was in so much pain. So I had to tell him he was overjoyed and shocked as I was. At the ultrasound we found out I was 7months pregnant, the tech told us our due date and if I hadn't been already laying down I probably would have needed to. Then the fun began, during my entire "vacation" I went to several different doctors trying to find one to accept me. Even though I had insurance no one wanted to take me due to the high risk factor due to the lack of prenatal care, it was like no one wanted to touch me with a ten foot pole so to speak.
We finally found a doctor that actually cares about his patients, he was shocked to learn that we had so much difficulty obtaining one. He walked us through everything that would happen, what to start expecting, and gave me a ton of tests that I had to have done to be sure me and the baby were in good health. My saving grace was that I had changed my eating habbits months prior to finding out I was pregnant, never a drinker, smoker or drug user of any kind and had begun a new workout routine which is what probably cause the pains I had as I was lifting heavy weights all over my legs, back and stomach. All in all the only thing that came up in the tests that needed change was that I'm anemic and needed to start taking iron pills. I had always been border line anemic but was told to just eat more fruits and veggies that are high in iron so that I never had to worry about taking a supplement for it. Well, that and my high blood pressure. He wanted to take me off of work for a week to see if that would help lower it but I didn't want to do that for financial reasons. He gave me a prescription for the anemia and suggested that I take only one once a day and he would follow up with me in a week to see that the dosage was enough, and it was. For the high blood pressure he warned that I needed to take it easy and find ways of destressing because high blood pressure isn't good for the baby's health or mine.
When I returned from my vacation I was more exhausted than when I had first went and to top it off the girl that went on her maternity leave did end up coming back to work. I was really hoping she could have just quit her job and been a stay at home mom. I did get to miss out on her bringing her child to the office which was neat because I don't think it's very professional to bring a small baby to an office in which you're on the phone speaking with clients and can hear an infant crying in the background. I also found out that one of the girls in a different department ended up loosing her job while I was on vacation. It was pretty messed up, she wasn't a terrible person to be around......except for when you were doing work related things with her, she could be kind of bossy and was easily excitable otherwise a sweet person.
I did have to inform my superior's that I was pregnant and let them know when I was due. Of course shock with congrats came first followed by disbelief and needing proof. Once it was established that I wasn't kidding, they wanted everyone in the office to know and I wasn't exactly thrilled about that idea. I was having enough to worry about without needing to be asked a crap load of questions from nosy busy bodies that only pretend to be nice. I just didn't want to deal with them and felt it wasn't anyone's business other than my superiors and myself. Eventually one of them found out some how and started poking around when the managers and supervisors weren't around asking if anything was new with me and kept asking if I had any secrets to share. She even went as far as saying that she was thinking of having her tubes untied so she could have another baby. (she's divorced, and single so obviously this was a joke.) It was so obvious she knew but I just played stupid and let her go on an on because I knew it was bugging her that I wouldn't confirm what she knew. One of my superiors mentioned that I should just let them all know because they are going to find out sooner or later, and because my co-worker was getting on my last nerve I allowed my superior to do it in a mass e-mail with the condition that she mention not to bug or harass me with questions about my pregnancy as I just didn't feel like disclosing any of that information to them.
Once the e-mail was read this loud girl yelled to the top of her lungs, I KNEW IT!!!! Of course questions were asked anyway because they didn't read past the she's pregnant line. I gave little information about it other than I was fine and when we expected to have our baby. Then it seemed everyday I was asked if I was ok, how I was feeling, etc. I felt like telling them to stop asking me it was irritating, it's like these people haven't been around a preggo in the office before, oh wait a minute they HAVE. I know people get excited about babies and pregnancy and all but to me it's not a big deal it's not like it's something that's never happened before, just chill and get over it already, geez.
I did have a few scares during the pregnancy due to the high blood pressure and only one of them my work was informed because I was unable to go in that day but was in the hospital instead. I didn't want to share the other times with them because it would have been like broadcasting it on the 5:00 news to everyone else in the office and I just didn't want to deal with them.
In December we had a baby shower, the following day at work I decided that would be my last day and use up my vacation time because I was exhausted and felt too stressed out to continue to be at work. At the end of the day I was officially on another "vacation". I might add it was much better than the last one. I basically used up the rest of my vacation days to ride out the wait for my delivery. It was nice but nerve racking.
My little one is now 2 1/2 months old and I haven't been back to work yet, I too took the paid family leave but now I am unemployed. I was told when my paid family leave ends I can reapply if my position is still available which I doubt it will be.....yippee! I won't ever have to go back to that horrible place ever again, and that's fine by me. Since being off of work my blood pressure is normal and I've never felt better. I will probably have to find a part time job just to help out with bills but that would be fine. Or maybe I can get a job with my husband, that would be fine too. But we will find out in a week and a half of what I'll need to do. Till then!
After a few days of being on vacation I ended up having to go to the doctors because I was having some serious pains all over. There were a few things the doctor thought was going on and was going to send me off to have testing done but before she sent me on my way she wanted to test for pregnancy. While waiting in the exam room after giving them what they needed I waited and waited thinking she would walk in and tell me what I usually hear when I have stomach issuse not pregnant. Not this time, she came in and said, "you're pregnant" and had a giant smile on her face. My jaw dropped and I think I turned pretty pale, I kept asking if they were sure and she said they tested it a few times and that they are 100% certain.
Being that we couldn't figure out how far along I was she ordered an emergency ultra sound to be done asap. My dad was in the car waiting for me as he was the one that drove me, my husband didn't want me driving myself as we weren't sure why I was in so much pain. So I had to tell him he was overjoyed and shocked as I was. At the ultrasound we found out I was 7months pregnant, the tech told us our due date and if I hadn't been already laying down I probably would have needed to. Then the fun began, during my entire "vacation" I went to several different doctors trying to find one to accept me. Even though I had insurance no one wanted to take me due to the high risk factor due to the lack of prenatal care, it was like no one wanted to touch me with a ten foot pole so to speak.
We finally found a doctor that actually cares about his patients, he was shocked to learn that we had so much difficulty obtaining one. He walked us through everything that would happen, what to start expecting, and gave me a ton of tests that I had to have done to be sure me and the baby were in good health. My saving grace was that I had changed my eating habbits months prior to finding out I was pregnant, never a drinker, smoker or drug user of any kind and had begun a new workout routine which is what probably cause the pains I had as I was lifting heavy weights all over my legs, back and stomach. All in all the only thing that came up in the tests that needed change was that I'm anemic and needed to start taking iron pills. I had always been border line anemic but was told to just eat more fruits and veggies that are high in iron so that I never had to worry about taking a supplement for it. Well, that and my high blood pressure. He wanted to take me off of work for a week to see if that would help lower it but I didn't want to do that for financial reasons. He gave me a prescription for the anemia and suggested that I take only one once a day and he would follow up with me in a week to see that the dosage was enough, and it was. For the high blood pressure he warned that I needed to take it easy and find ways of destressing because high blood pressure isn't good for the baby's health or mine.
When I returned from my vacation I was more exhausted than when I had first went and to top it off the girl that went on her maternity leave did end up coming back to work. I was really hoping she could have just quit her job and been a stay at home mom. I did get to miss out on her bringing her child to the office which was neat because I don't think it's very professional to bring a small baby to an office in which you're on the phone speaking with clients and can hear an infant crying in the background. I also found out that one of the girls in a different department ended up loosing her job while I was on vacation. It was pretty messed up, she wasn't a terrible person to be around......except for when you were doing work related things with her, she could be kind of bossy and was easily excitable otherwise a sweet person.
I did have to inform my superior's that I was pregnant and let them know when I was due. Of course shock with congrats came first followed by disbelief and needing proof. Once it was established that I wasn't kidding, they wanted everyone in the office to know and I wasn't exactly thrilled about that idea. I was having enough to worry about without needing to be asked a crap load of questions from nosy busy bodies that only pretend to be nice. I just didn't want to deal with them and felt it wasn't anyone's business other than my superiors and myself. Eventually one of them found out some how and started poking around when the managers and supervisors weren't around asking if anything was new with me and kept asking if I had any secrets to share. She even went as far as saying that she was thinking of having her tubes untied so she could have another baby. (she's divorced, and single so obviously this was a joke.) It was so obvious she knew but I just played stupid and let her go on an on because I knew it was bugging her that I wouldn't confirm what she knew. One of my superiors mentioned that I should just let them all know because they are going to find out sooner or later, and because my co-worker was getting on my last nerve I allowed my superior to do it in a mass e-mail with the condition that she mention not to bug or harass me with questions about my pregnancy as I just didn't feel like disclosing any of that information to them.
Once the e-mail was read this loud girl yelled to the top of her lungs, I KNEW IT!!!! Of course questions were asked anyway because they didn't read past the she's pregnant line. I gave little information about it other than I was fine and when we expected to have our baby. Then it seemed everyday I was asked if I was ok, how I was feeling, etc. I felt like telling them to stop asking me it was irritating, it's like these people haven't been around a preggo in the office before, oh wait a minute they HAVE. I know people get excited about babies and pregnancy and all but to me it's not a big deal it's not like it's something that's never happened before, just chill and get over it already, geez.
I did have a few scares during the pregnancy due to the high blood pressure and only one of them my work was informed because I was unable to go in that day but was in the hospital instead. I didn't want to share the other times with them because it would have been like broadcasting it on the 5:00 news to everyone else in the office and I just didn't want to deal with them.
In December we had a baby shower, the following day at work I decided that would be my last day and use up my vacation time because I was exhausted and felt too stressed out to continue to be at work. At the end of the day I was officially on another "vacation". I might add it was much better than the last one. I basically used up the rest of my vacation days to ride out the wait for my delivery. It was nice but nerve racking.
My little one is now 2 1/2 months old and I haven't been back to work yet, I too took the paid family leave but now I am unemployed. I was told when my paid family leave ends I can reapply if my position is still available which I doubt it will be.....yippee! I won't ever have to go back to that horrible place ever again, and that's fine by me. Since being off of work my blood pressure is normal and I've never felt better. I will probably have to find a part time job just to help out with bills but that would be fine. Or maybe I can get a job with my husband, that would be fine too. But we will find out in a week and a half of what I'll need to do. Till then!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
